It Takes Two

Behind the Story: This was a hard message for me to receive. My mother was a single parent and I learned independence by watching her. Sometimes she worked two jobs, just to care for her children. My mother has been married for some years now; which shows me that it is nice to have someone to grow old with. I am a single parent and I have never been married. It has been hard having one income and doing side jobs to make ends meet. It has been hard not having that husband to support me. I still have a desire to be married, but in the meantime, God has blessed me with a great support system of family and new friends to help me through this journey.

The light bill is due. My children need new clothes. Food is getting low. I have things that I want and need to do for myself. I want to be married but I have not met the right man. I have to do everything by myself. I am having a single-parent experience. Being single and being a single parent is not the same thing. When single, you are responsible for yourself. A single parent accounts for the children and herself or himself.

A preacher once told me that everything you need to know is in the Bible. So I searched the Bible to see if anyone else had any single-parent experiences. To be a single parent, at least four things had to have happened:

1. You were married and your spouse died-Widow/Widower
2. You were married and you got a divorce.
3. You adopted a child.
4. You “knew” a man that was you’re your husband or vice versa.

Well, I searched continuously and I did not find any single unmarried women with children. I thought about Hagar, but (Genesis 16:3) “Sarah gave Hagar to Abraham to be his wife”.

Then I thought about Eunice, Timothy’s mother, but I found out that she was married to a Greek who was an unbeliever. For some reason, Timothy’s father is not mentioned in raising him. He was brought up by his mother and grandmother. I found a lot of widows like the widow of Zarephath, the Shulamite woman, and the widow of Nain. I also found a lot of virgins. Through all that studying, I realized that It Takes Two.

My scripture text comes from (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12). It reads as follows:

9 Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.

 This verse is referring to partnership, the hope of reward, and greater productivity. Two are better than one-this is the basis for any type of “ship” be it a relationship, friendship, or marriage. Two heads are better than one-when you cannot find a solution to a problem, you get someone to help you. One is lonely but two can bring comfort, support, help, and joy.

 9b They have a good reward

 When two work together, there is more production. In church, if we work together, more souls will be saved and our reward will be in heaven.

 10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.

 This verse refers to help in trouble-immediate assistance. I’ve fallen and I can’t get up. Just like that Life Alert commercial, senior citizens fall and they push the button for help. We should lift each other. When you do it together, if one gets in trouble, the other person is available to help. Remember the story of the Good Samaritan.

 11 Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone?

 Without someone to share, there is a coldness of spirit. When you have a partner to share the things of God with, there is warmth or heat. When a person has hypothermia, they need body heat. Two people working on a project create a close relationship. While they are working, they learn about each and a bond is created. The result is that they become friends.

 12 And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

This verse is about unity, protection, and security. There is strength and safety in numbers. When two or three are gathered together, God is in the midst. When a person is attacked, he is likely to be defeated. If it is two against one, there is a chance for victory. If three are attacked, it’s like trying to rip apart three cords closely bound together; it’s hard to do. When three Christians stand together in the Lord, Satan will have a hard time defeating them. Wolves attack solitary sheep, sheep that have strayed off, not the entire flock. In a marriage, Jesus has your back, but only if He is included in the three-fold cord.

I am not single by choice. I settled for the wrong man. I do desire to be married, but I have not been found by the right man. I am praying for a helpmate because it does take two. As I wait for my husband, here are some things I need to do:

1. Pray -Seek God for His direction
2. Wait in expectation -This is faith in action. Since high school, I have had my wedding planned. I knew my wedding colors, who I wanted to be at the wedding, the gospel songs that I wanted to be played at the reception, etc. I just have to wait to see if my groom agrees and make some adjustments if necessary.
3. Resist temptation– Don’t be someone’s concubine. Tell that man to put a ring on it if he wants me. Flee from fornication and pray. A pastor taught a lesson called Yes Jesus Loves Me on 12/30/06. He said the way to know if a man loves you is: to tell him to keep his hands to himself. If he loves you, he will wait on you and marry you. His daughter said the two ways are: I do. I don’t want to be friends with benefits. I want a marriage with full coverage.
4. Teach my children God’s Word-My children need a godly role model in the home so they will see God’s plan for families. My daughter needs to see how a man of God loves his wife. My son needs to see how to be a man of God, and how he should love his wife.
5. Be me– If you have to fake it to make it, then you are not doing yourself any favors. You will lose your identity trying to be someone you are not. If you are not a wife, don’t be acting like one.

I know that with God all things are possible. I believe that He will bless me with my husband. Let’s remember one stands alone, It Takes Two!

Shelly Lee, an MBA graduate from Lamar University, wears many hats: Author Coach, Speaker, Ghostwriter, Christian Inspirational Author, and owner of Pen.Paper.Publish. Balancing parenthood with her daughter, 29, and son, 27, she cherishes family alongside her author success.

With two heartfelt books already self-published, “God Spoke and I Listened” and “The Sheldra Series: An Unknown Love – Book One,” Shelly is now deep into creating her fourth and fifth works. Her signature product is the Write Your Book in 90 Days or Less With No Stress course.

Additionally, she’s spearheading her first anthology titled on Mercy Through the Madness, weaving faith into her impactful storytelling. Shelly Lee can help you birth your story for God’s glory!